Stuology

Ada has redeemed herself

Apr 27th, 2010By: Mellystu Comments 3

This event made it as a quip on Facebook, but not here, so I’ll backstory for the few of you that don’t read me there.

The other day we were having a Work Day. I have set aside these days where we spend the entire afternoon doing chores around the house so we can spend the next day doing no chores at all. Last Friday was a Word Day because I wanted to get the house cleaned up before Mac came home so there was nothing hanging over my head on Saturday. Ada and Jay’s job was to clean their room. It is only fair. They messed it up. They both spent an incredible amount of time in their room and picked up nothing. And it wasn’t exactly the case where I dumped them in their room and just told them to clean. I dumped them in their room and gave them each a small, manageable job to do. Jay was suppose to pick up his tools and put them back in the toolbox and Ada was suppose to find all the books and put them in a pile. They complained and whined and threw even more stuff on the floor, but neither one of them did their small job.

I finally asked them this question, “Do you want to clean your room up or do you want me to clean your room up?” They picked me. I said, “Okay, as soon as I’m done in my room, I’ll be happy to clean yours.” That pleased them, and they went about playing.

The reason I was so nice about doing it for them was because my plan to clean their room included putting every single toy into trash bags and locking them away. Which is exactly what I happily did. And it made Ada cry. And I hugged her and told her that I knew how sad it is to not have your favorite toys. I told her that maybe tomorrow we could practice having her take care of them. But for today, there are no toys. I hauled them all to the basement and locked them in my photography studio/office^*, although that pained me because I’m really tired of my space ending up as the storage room for crap that hasn’t been sorted and put away. I was hoping it would be short term though.

The next day, I asked Ada if she would like to pick a toy to have back. She picked one, and I told her she can keep it out if she picks it up. I found it on the floor once, and I asked her if she would like to pick it up or if she would like me to pick it up. This time, she picked it up. The next day, I asked if she would like another back. She picked another one. Today, I went downstairs to do some organizing in the playroom^**, and I found those two toys she picked out, a stuffed piglet and a stuffed ballerina Hello Kitty, put away in the big container where the other stuffed animals are. I didn’t direct her to put them there. At lunch today, I asked her about the location of the two toys, and she said downstairs. I asked her if she put them there, and she said yes. Score! She just earned all the rest of her toys back. This didn’t work as well on Jay, who earned a toy back and then lost it again because he once again chose me to pick it up off the sofa. Hopefully being consistent will get Jay to the point that he will willingly pick up his toys as well. He’s only three, so I expect these struggles a little more than with Ada, who will be five next week^***.

It is really hard to get out of the mode where you tell your kids what to do. The constant “clean your room” or “pick up your toys” or other such fights just doesn’t work very well. I find that I still do that, especially when I’m rushed. However, the question of “Do you want me to pick up your socks or do you want to pick up your socks?” this morning netted a result of her picking up her socks and putting them in the dirty clothes without arguing.

Today is a Work Day. The toy organization is done. Now we are going to organize and put away the toys that were in the bedroom that I packed away. We are setting aside some now age inappropriate toys and hauling them away, probably to Goodwill because I’m too lazy to have them sit around until a Freecycler actually show up to pick them up. Then we are going outside to do some yard work, which doesn’t include mowing because the lawn mower is out for a tune up. I hope we get it back before we have more rain because if I have to wait too long to mow, it is going to suck.

And since today is a work day, I’m splurging on dinner and making pizza. It is really easy to assemble and cooks in only 8 minutes. I’ll make the dough after the toys but before I go outside and dig in the dirt.

*What I need to do is get a lock for the door of the playroom downstairs. Then I can entirely lock off all access to every single toy they own without inconveniencing me.

**I take one step at a time. Once they learn to at least pick things off the floor and put them in a designated area, then I’ll work on organizing so they can remember where their things are. In the meantime, I clean out and re-organize the toy storage.

***Seriously, my daughter is going to be five. I’ve had a kid in my life for five years and it went by so quickly.