Ah, my head is full of gunk and my voice isn’t completely back, but I’m slowly getting better. No more news other than that, so I’ll give you things that have made me laugh today:

From Michael:
You may have heard that the Canadian government has decided
to assist the USA in the war against terrorism.

They have agreed to send:
-6000 ground troops
-2 of their largest battle ships
-6 fighter jets

After the exchange rate the USA will receive:
-2 Mounties
-1 canoe
-a bunch of flying squirrels

From Jason:
Weekly Horoscope by Jason Edwards, CAA, PHP, STD, XTC, ADD.*

November 8th, 2001

Aries: (March 21-April 19)
Your days will be filled with flowers and your nights will be filled with honey. If you’re
not a bee, this will be sort of weird.

Taurus: (April. 20-May 20)
This is a good week for dancing, singing, laughing at peasants, denying the church access to
state resources, and fomenting infighting among the lesser nobles.

Gemini: (May 21-June 21)
Cotton candy is not the best choice for a toupee; even though it will make you look darn
cute, this week you will look darn cute anyway.

Cancer: (June 22-July 22)
There is more difference between sex and death than just a heartbeat. Remember this the next
time you’re on the treadmill, feeling ashamed. You’re a winner!

Leo: (July 23-Aug. 22)
Take a break from your accelerated life for a few days. The moon is on the cusp of your surcease salon, which has nothing to do with anything– it’s just nice to take a break now and then.

Virgo: (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Not much going on right now. Uh, don’t eat bad fish.

Libra: (Sept. 23-Oct. 23)
Defy convention this week! If your colleagues tell you to temper the heat sink at 72.5 for an eleven-candle ohm reflector, based on NEBs compliancy for the 824VXC, go ahead and make it 72.7! Be a rebel!

Scorpio: (Oct. 24-Nov. 21)
The weekly horoscope you write will be a day late because you had to get home early so you could go to the Disney On Ice show.

Sagittarius: (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
I really like your pants. Seriously. Those are some nice pants. Stars, shmars– if I was
your gender, I would SO wear those pants.

Capricorn: (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
It’s all about the benjamins. If you’re a few lincolns short of jackson, bet your bottom-washington on whatever high-risk, high return investment you can find. Like crack, Or anime.

Aquarius: (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
George Michael’s videos were full of sexy female supermodels, even though he was gay. This was not meant to disguise his sexuality, he was just pitching his product to the largest audience. Take a lesson from this: use sexy female supermodels no matter what. Like in your job interview next week.

Pisces: (Feb. 19-March 20)
Astrology is bunk. You know that, right? You understand that, don’t you? No? Oh.

*I posted this without his permission, and I don’t plan on ever asking him for it**.

**It as in his permission